Negative Chain , Breaking the cycle

Before any one reads my stuff understand I am dyslexic and my written is not always clear, although i do get folk to proof read what i write, its not always possible and well i some times miss it myself …

So you understand im not a professional writer nor do i profess to be one.

I simply want people to know how i helped myself cure maybe years of depression and anxiety, in the end finding peace and self love …

I must stress this wasn’t over night and like any thing i had to keep training my mind to think differently …

If you not already seen there is a blog previous to this about how i found my awareness ,

What i want to talk about today is how i fell into that negative way of thinking , feeling in the first place, how the link of the negative chain is beyond my birth

This being said i believe every chain can be broken changing generations to come in your own family blood line …

The start of my life wasnt to bad i was born in canada, mum, dad i guess it looked normal enough.

Behind close doors my mum was suffering in her own mind , trying to take her own life when i was very little things seemed to get much worse from then…

My mum and dad split so my mum brought us back to the uk , where she later had a break down and was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.

I grew up observing her behavior closely, thinking back now i can see this was me filtering through what was my mum or her illness to find peace of mind,

Years later i struggled in my own head, from late teens twenties, finding myself again mid 30s, alot of years to be lost.

But I believe through that pain I’ve been able to grow and become aware of how to help others…

My moto is, if I help one person it’s totally worth it …

Doctors say DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, SCHIZOPHRENIA, can be passed through generations, me believing it to a point i was scaring myself into it.

The victim of my own life , how life would of been if we had of stayed in Canada, if id always had my dad if my mum wasn’t ill  …

Although I thought I didn’t live by my experiences, I actually really did , history repeating its self …

not a chance i told myself, but for years i struggled, the fear of my mums illness consumed me  …

My visits to the doctors was frequent as i struggled to make sense of my own head. I would never take the tablets so I guess I was going to be reassured I was not losing my mind ..

in my last blog I speak about the secret the law of attraction that i believe now created a neuroplasicity effect and saved me…

I reprogrammed learnt new language patterns , thoughts, beliefs, undoing what had been installed from my childhood.

My experiences as a kid wasn’t my world at all, it was my mums world  that id begun to take on,  she had taken on her mums world  , sadness depression anxiety we was stuck in the negative experience …

Now i want to go back a little further before my mum was born, god rest her soul i want to talk about my nan…

My nan lived in danzig and went through the war through the ordeal of Hitler, her story was never clear as she kept alot back.

From what I have been told and then  learning about the mind to become a HYPNOTHERAPIST, I had no doubt that my nan have ptsd and god knows what other stuff was haunting her.

She had seen people she loved shot, she was separated from her family and was alone in the world , until she met my grandad and then came to the uk with him … Now you may be thinking? what does this have to do with what im trying to get across to u all …

Well the negative chain started right HERE I BELIEVE…

The ordeal my nan had suffered caused negative mental health issues, she had not left the war the war lived on inside of her …

Because of this she wasn’t an easy person to be around, so from negative experience, came negative thoughts and feelings it was that, that was being passed into my mum then into me… which now becomes our beliefs, thought patterns and feelings , the start of the negative chain depression, anxiety ,stress illness …

So from a very little GIRL, negative programming began , setting the mind SET and the minds perception of the world , a program that would be installed and worked out of for years to come …

So do we stay in the negative or do we break it,  smash it up, Break the chain the cycle…

My past is not my present and my future is all MINE…

MINE with my own mind and thoughts …

what is written can be rewrote …

What we think and feel can be re taught by the power of our own minds …

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